Hurrah for the MTGGs

I have fond childhood memories of dear old Dobbin, the Co-op milkman’s horse, enjoying his oats from a nosebag at the kerbside every morning while the milkman enjoyed a leisurely cuppa with Mrs Wotsit, the lonely lady living at No 21. So patient, those old gee-gees, ever willing to get back to work when the master returned with a new spring in his step to continue the workaday round. They seemed to operate on auto-pilot, needing only an occasional whispered ‘giddy up’ or ‘whoah’, and were efficient recycling machines too: food entering at one end emerged at the other partially processed into fertilizer for the roses and delivered right outside the customer’s door, where a young child with a bucket and shovel would be eagerly watching and waiting to collect it. Sometimes there would be a bit of a tussle as two youngsters decided who had the rightful claim to the coveted substance, but it was all part of the pleasure of living in suburbia.

Those were the days when the greengrocer, the baker, the coalman and all the other tradesmen also plied their wares from horse-drawn carts, ambling along at a leisurely pace, keeping Mums happy and their children fed and warm. No fumes, no damage to the environment and no parking problems then, when the sight of a motor vehicle was something of a rarity and we kids could happily play marbles in the gutter all the way to school.

I am reminded of those days by the name of one of my favourite economy eating places - the ‘Hungry Horse’ pub restaurant chain, famous for such exciting delicacies as The Meatiest Ever Cow Pie Ever (They used to call it ‘Desperate Dan Cow’ Pie but have now dropped the 'Dandy' comic reference) served on a 17” plate and, by way of contrast, a confection for afters modestly described as ‘probably the smallest dessert in the world’ which I can confirm is no exaggeration.

Man or beast, we all have to refill our empty stomachs, and a bit of humour with our food can aid digestion. The prices are laughable too, and the over-60s can choose two courses for £3.99 inclusive from a menu which includes prawn cocktail, bangers and mash, sticky chocolate pudding and ice cream - with tea and coffee at no extra charge. Not cordon bleu but ‘cor blimey', at that price, so bring on the empty gee-gees and let them bring a little joy into our hearts and stomachs at the same time.